One Month ~ Another Step Closer to Wonderland
Today, I have been quit for 30 days
This past weekend (including Friday) I spent cooped up in a small cubile at the University writing research papers and despartely trying to find time to work on my thesis (the reason I am in Ontario in the first place)
. After suffering from intense cabin fever, I noticed something: my concentration had returned! I have long been awaiting its return (30 days) and was so preoccupied that I had not noticed its much welcomed return. But there it was flipping through text books, absorbing, synthesizing, analyzing, and, at last (trumpet sound), spitting out coherent sentences. I was starting to get scared that it would never return and that 'smoking' was the only medium to which Concentration and me could be reunited. I win again Nicodemon
I have also thankfully experienced more energy lately. I have gone for 28 runs in the past 30 days. Each run was for a different purpose: exercise, maintaining weight, fresh air, combatting stress, reuniting with running shoes, healing lungs, controlling anger, running away from life, running towards life, etc, etc. I would have to say that running has provided the greatest replacement so far in this quit regardless of the reason that ultimately compelled me out the door and onto the pavement.
Unfortunately, my 30 day quit has not always been painted with rainbows and sunshine
It has also been filled with moments of stress, misery, sadness, anger, dullness, emptiness, as well as restless sleeps, stomach aches, headaches, nausea, and self-doubt. But what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger I guess.
Thanks for the suppport everyone. It has helped immensely and has provided me one step closer to Wonderland (freedom) and conquering the Queen of Hearts (nicodemon).
~Alice
I will use that!
