I totally understand where you're coming from with this 'obsessing over the need to understand', it can take over my head and won't stop. It's nasty.
Sometimes I think it in part is my logical analytical mind trying to understand something that is beyond logic? Something very painful and confusing that me and my mind is scared to let out? That's one theory some people I know who've been through it say is at the root of the depression. Is this where the psychotherapy comes in? Does this clash with the CBT way of thinking? Gets confusing. More stuff to obsess about!
Anyone got any thoughts?
That wasn't very clear, I suppose what I'm trying to say is does CBT and medication successfully manage depression and help with how we look at ourselves and the world but perhaps not get to the cause, which could be things that are wrong in the present (eg relationships, jobs), past hurt/anger that somehow we haven't processed or maybe stuff we don't know is there yet or don't see right (where the psychotherapy comes in)?
That's if there is a cause?! And maybe sometimes it is biological (which seems to be more the case in bipolar).
I think seeing depression as an illness is so useful but sometimes if we're not careful can it lead to us labelling ourselves as a lifetime medical condition when maybe we can break free of it and the answer is inside if we know how to look or in saying that there is nothing wrong with us maybe what is wrong is our current world and so how can we change it?
My example is a friend who went through a lot of therapy when younger and now works as a healer (reiki, shamanic stuff) - she describes it as you have to make sure all the pus is out otherwise it will get infected again and again. I don't know what or where the pus is though!!
It seems to me that there are very different ways to look at depression and they contradict each other even though they each make sense. I always feel I'm missing a bit of the puzzle which ever way I look at it. Maybe that's because I'm not looking right or looking too hard?
As you can tell, It get very confused with all this....Time for some distraction on the TV...;)
Hi Hazel, I am at an earlier stage to you in that I haven't returned to work yet. I have been worried about what people will think too.
However, I've called a couple of my friends there who know why I've been off and brought up the fact that I've been anxious about what people are saying and thinking. They have reassured me that (in addition to people being busy and having other things on their mind) people are generally understanding and concerned and in fact some people have discussed how they have had periods of depression themselves.
Maybe it is worth speaking to those you are closer to, if you feel up to it?
I totally understand where you're coming from but I'm sure people will be more understanding and less judgmental than you may think. I hope this helps...
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