well, this may seem like nothing to most but to me it is a nice vicotry in my day. For two months now i have been having trouble washing since i have trouble 1- getting naked for very long 2- going in the tub 3- going in the shower. As i am fond of personal hygiene you can see how this is affecting my life.
Well since last december i wash when i can, or when i really can't not wash is more like it. Which means i have not washed two days in a row for two months now. I wash more like on a 3-4 day basis. I know this sounds gross but i really just couldn't endure the panic that came with being in the shower. But i did good the last two days.
Yesterday and today, on both days i took a shower. I feel very proud of myself that i took it upon me to start using this as a way to grow.
I had figure when i washed today that i was good for another few days. But after reading the stuff on this site and reading the program material, i took my courage in both my hands and asked it to follow me in my shower. So there it is two showers in two days and i feel human again! And the beauty of it is, altho i felt very anxious in there and a bit afterwords i did manage not to have a full-blown panic attack. I feel very happy with myself on that^^ Anyway, this isn't something big for most of you but for me it is really great^^ Anway, if anybody has anything to share with me big or small please do do i will be more then happy to listen and offer and nice pat on the back and a big woohoo! I know how sometimes the little things you do can make you feel good and every little triumph is worth celebrating^^ Well thanks for reading :) And have a good one :)
Ok, so no title. The author's name is Eckhart Tolle. HE is a spiritual guise. Since i cannot tell you the title i will tell you what it is about to enable you to find it if you are interested.
It talks about living in the present moment. It talks about being the observer of you own mind and about the importnace and great joy and ineer peace of living in the NOW. For him the Now is where we get to have Power and peaace. It is a very good book, it reads easily and it is full of hope. I hope you guys can find the book i am talking about i know i really like it.
Later!
For more serious stuff i recommend Echart Tolle
For just reading for reading i suggest either reading short stories by alice Munro or reading novels by Morris west!Theese have gotten me through many a rough night in the past month. so Enjoy!
Have yuo looked in to the symptom of depersonnalisation? I mean i havent had it anytime lately so i cant quite remember what it really feels like. But it sounds a bit like that. Maybe somebody else could be more accurate for you... Sorry if i cant help more but i thought i would just throw that out there. If it is depersonnalisation, it is perfectly normal as part of a panic disorder and it is quite harmless. Anyway, hope somebody has a clearer answer for you...
Take care!
-Diva
Well Maggie i am exactly like that hypervigilant jumpy and all that. I find that i just want to find a quiet little place and get no noise no nothing and just have peace. But oddly enough what has been helping me is to surround myself with a little background noise as i go about my day. I dont mean big loid noises. I find that if i get used to hearing soft noises and such all around me during the day it desensitizes me to the louder more abrupt noises and such. Of course i still jump and i am still jumpier then most but i find that the shock is lestended that way . I find that i handle it better like somhow it is less shocking. Anyway that is just what works for me.I hope this helps a little.
Take care
-Diva
Well i definitely think you will be alright in the long run. I know it is hard to beleive. I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough day but i believe you can overcome this. Hang in there :)
As somebody once told me: "This too shall pass".
Take care!
-Diva
Hello MAggie. I want to give you a heartfelt thank you for sharing this with me. I almost cried reading your post just from the fact that i had finally found someone who understood how importnat this was for me and what it really meant for me. Also, it was nice to know that other people have dealt with this too, i dont feel alone anymore with this. It was very generaous of you to share this with me and i cannot tell you how much i appreciate this! And yes you are right, i will be proud of my self for this, I did well :) Thanks again and i wish you a good day :) Be well Maggie and may you have a rainbow day :)
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