I fall into the category of people "who have no problem giving up drinking forever, I have done it hundreds of times". I have been battling my alcohol dependency for 10 years. Last year I managed 6 months without drink (my best ever by far).
However I recently started my own business and the stress and strain go the better of me and I started drinking again. Of course I am now in a bind as developing a business does not work when drunk or hungover. Debts are now accumulating, with the vicious cycle in play of more debt, more strain, more drinking to relieve the strain.
My partner is in the early stages of drink dependency and would resist the view that we have an issue. My general family would be horrified and worried sick if they new the situation. At this point I feel unable to seek support here.
Having battled this for so long on my own and always gone back to drinking I now realise I need external help. I hope this is where the AHC comes in.
Ambivalence
One of my major difficulties when I give up drinking is what I would call ambivalence. Initially I start highly motivated "I am giving up forever, and this time I really mean it". However the high of the fresh start fades and a point comes when I become what I would call emotionally ambivalent. I know logically that I must stay away from drink but emotionally I have lost the enthusiasm for the pitch battle to resist. I can see the change in myself but I fail to get past it. I know I am in trouble and although I keep on resisting the triggers as they come along each time it gets more and more difficult until I crack. I then binge for days or weeks but eventually give up again.
The triggers I have strategies for but do you have any tips on dealing with the ambivalence?
thanks for the wellcome and the input. I appreciate the fresh perspective. It is a wellcome change. Up to now the long term solution has eluded me. I am very hopeful that this fresh input will help tip the balance for me. I will keep you updated as I progress.
Overcoming Ambivalence In The Face Of Risk Situations
Foxman, your experience on spiritual solution has particular resonance for me
I joined the AHC last week. After years of going it alone with these issues I finally realised I needed additional help. The fact that I am here (and you) has got to be positive.
We all have a lot of little decisions to make every day of our lives. They say take one day at the time. I am working on one little decision at the time.
weekends are certainely tricky. I am planning next weekend now. If I can get all around me to agree to buy into theses plans we will have a bumper time with no room for alachol.
yes we are in the danger zone. However every time we get through, we get a little stronger.
My only defence to what I know will be a difficult time is to plan ahead. I find for me a trigger is more likely to go for me if I hit a void in what I am doing. I try and crame the danger zone with things to do.
One thing I have to be careful of when doing this is becoming overtired or hungry. Each in themselves are also a triggers for me. So for me pacing myself is also critical.
When I look back on these occasions I can see that the desire always passes. I just have to hang in there in whatever way I can until until then.
I think this is a great topic for discussion. It would be extremly helpful to share how to resist the triggers to drink
My Coping Mechanisms For Trying To Resist Triggers For Drinking
I have spent many years trying to find the "silver bullet" to give up drinking, only to find I was chasing the end of a rainbow. It took me a long time to realise that there were no simple answers.
Everyone is different and Ienclose some things to help me resist drinking. They don`t work all the time but they do help me a lot ot the time.
Head Space (I need time each day and week to look ahead and see where possible danger is)
Routine (I need to work my routine to mitigate against the danger)
Busy (I need to plan to be busy during the danger times)
Avoid
I have to avoid getting over tired (it destroys my will power)
I have to avoid getting over hungry (for me this links to a trigger to drink)
When in extreme difficulty
Choclate (I don`t know why, but choclate can realive my craving for drink)
I keep the equivalent of an emergency first aid kit to resist the trigger for drinking in an inocious container in my car. It has got me out of a spot of bother on more than one occasion. It contains choclate (a natural quenceher of desire to drink for me) and a high energy drink (to help overcome tirdness). It me be that this is as much a placebo effect for me, but either which way it works a lot ot the time.
see the "Health Education Corner" discussion on "Weekend Prep". there might be something there that could just tip the balance for you when trying to resist a drink.
In addition
Looking at different discussions people seem to get a lift from
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