Just finished 8 days in detox-I had been having too many accidents, and not being able to remember things...I have been through this before and always think I can get my drinking under control, but apparently I can't. Well. I can for a while, but then it always gets out of hand, so I think this means no more.
I don't know that I really want to stop drinking entirely- I need to find some sort of a new spirituality that can release me from the hold that alcohol seems to always gain. I also have an eating disorder, which surfaces very viciously when alcohol is removed from the equation, and can become just as much of an obsession... unfortunately one cannot just not eat anything, the way you can with booze. At least it doesn't destroy the mind and body in the same way as the other addiction, but both are growing from the same root-and pulling the leaves off isn't going to make it go away.
I do go to AA meetings but don't find them very useful personally. In fact I often find myself more depressed and craving after a meeting than before, which is why I would rather not go. These online forums to me are better, as I can get what I need without having to take all the other bull**** along with it. I go to some CA and NA meetings too, just because the locations are good, and essentially it is the same problem, addiction.
My goal for now is never consecutive days drinking-yesterday I did so today I cannot...but instead I want to eat and eat and eat some more. Not much better.
\Been taking multi vitamins and 100mg of B complex vitamins for years. I drink so much herbal tea that I am getting up to go to bathroom all night. Find it hard to focus on anything, eating distracts me the same way drinking does.
Yeah, I have been drinking alternate days, and realizing that almost always, after the day I was drinking, I feel sort of down the next , obviously there's a reason for that. The day after a dry day, I feel good. And no I don't get up in the morning and crack open a beer to toast the day.
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