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Rebuilding Self Esteem

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Kingie, that's wonderful news to hear. I hope to have the success you are having. This is just my third day of just living sober. I'd like to have a couple of beers on Saturday, and Sunday as I find football games to watch, but then I think on the other hand....stay on this sober road until Thanksgiving.

Watching sports is a definite trigger for me to ignore how many times I pour the bottle. I don't know where you're strength comes from. I am praying for the same change in my life. Bravo to you!!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

A small triumph for the last week.....I have cut my drinking down to about half of what it was before and I have not been drunk for a week....for now my goal is that and limiting to 2 per day. In a better place and plan on continuing.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Honey badger,

welcome and yes your remarks are being posted. take a look around. there is no rocket sicne in how this works. If you have a problem with drinking and you wnat to do someting about it. This is the place.

Take care,

Rob

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

I don't know if I belong here. I have no idea how this works. Are my remarks being posted? can anyone help me?

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Splitimage,

I have had the pleasure of meeting somone who made 100 million dollars, lost 100 million dollars and who was on the way to making another 100 million. He told me that the second time around, takes longer, is sweeter and is far more certain.

Hopefully with some of the major weakness under control you will go on to be more successful (in the general sense) than ever. It is really, really good to see somone coming back.

Take care,

Rob

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 272

When I lost my really good finance job in 06 due to drinking, my self confidence, and self esteem were shattered - so much of my identity was tied up in work.

Then my struggles to stay sober until recently made me feel like even more of a failure.

And I couldn't find any work, no matter how many resumes I sent out which felt like failure.

Then I went bankrupt, had to give up my apartment and move into transitional housing - more feeling like a failure.

But I feel like I'm coming out of a dark place and slowly rebuilding my confidence.

I just moved out of the transitional housing and into an apartment with a friend. I did all the leg work on finding the apartment and organizing the move, that helped me feel competent.

I've picked up some contract work, which while it won't support me yet, is at least making me feel useful.

I've stayed sober for 19 + months now, which is making me feel a lot better about myself.

And I'm going back to school in Jan. to finish a post graduate diploma in forensic accounting that will hopefully let me get back into the job market.

It hasn't been easy, but I finally feel like I'm getting my old, pre-drinking self back.

splitimage

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Thanks, Rob and Dave. Feeling better today, more positive and see that glimmer of hope that has been tucked away in my negativity. I do feel that the key to staying sober is how I feel about myself. So, this is a focus I am taking on. I so appreciate responses on these forums. It is mind boggling and also "comforting" to be aware that so many others are facing similar struggles. The journey is always easier with a companion.

Kingle, hang in there. You are not alone.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

Made the list you suggested......my parents divorced when I was 16....stayed with my Mom and was reminded on a daily basis how it was MY fault my Dad left.......everything was good for years (after I met the most wonderful man in the world who became my husband and always made me feel great about myself). Then 10 years ago he was diagnosed with cancer and went through surgery and radiation.....today he is a survivor.....but then our son was diagnosed last year (doctors say he well on his way to being a survivor as well). Had a GREAT job that I LOVED and lost it because the owners of the company decided to hire their son and proceeded to what they call "contructive" dismissal which meant I was torn down at every oppourtunity and blamed for any mistake that was made even when it wasn't mine........started drinking MORE over the years.....used to have my Mom and sister out to my house for Xmas and holiday celebrations....now they have an excuse for not coming (not my drinking) started after.......I have apologized to all of my friends and family for what I did when I was drunk every day (NOT NOW).......but I'm not sure what I have to do next....

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 49

I've spent the last 10 years of my life with absolutely no self esteem...no time.....my husband was diagnosed with cancer....he is now a survivor....and my son was diagnosed last year....doctor says he is well on his way to being a survivor too....lost my job three years ago....owners hired son......how do you get that back??????

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Sadie,

2 weeks! Well done! Interesting situation you have but also very common. Very successful, surrounded by family and friends and yet we drink and live our lives in a destructive way. I say "we" because I've been the same way and it sounds like we have lived a very similar life. I quit drinking almost 4 months ago now and it's been interesting to say the least. I'm surrounded by drinking; wife, family, friends......everywhere I turn socially I'm faced with it and that doesn't include the advertising that is shoved done our throats. And Christmas season is upon us........Personally, I'm finding the pressure of influence to be waning but removing the alcohol lays bear the artifacts that were the source, if you know what I mean. For me this has become a one-way ticket. I have to address how I deal with people and situations that pushed my buttons and motivated me to drink. And also, similar to yourself, how I see myself internally and how I WANT to feel about myself. It's my issue, not theirs. I've been encouraged to address my drinking and I am, however, what I am finding is my immediate relationships are triggers. As I live in the moment of the interactions I pay very close attention to what is being said, how I choose to react, and how I feel physically, and it's becoming very evident how stress builds incrementally and we carry it with us. We even seek out situations that support and validate the need to drink but at the end of the day we do it ourselves. Our challenge is to recognize these habitual stressors and understand them. When we do that we can challenge them, eliminate them, and move past them. And everything counts; nutrition, physical activity, relationships, activities...........

I can really empathize with what you are saying and feeling and the level of frustration and depression you'e experiencing. Keep moving forward without drinking. It will make a huge difference for the better in your life. Continue to share what you're thinking and going through and you'll get great feedback and support here.

All the best

Dave

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