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8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Thanks for replying! Am very much aware that the heavy drinking only exacerbates other problems I might have. I have resolved to get this behaviour out of my system during this summer vacation. Have read much on various strategies but must admit that I have been lax in trying to implement them.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

hi have you tried Allen Carr's book Stop drinking now it is really good.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Do you know if we are alcoholic, we will never be able to cut down. There is something physically wrong with us that prevents us from moderating our drinking.

We will always go overboard.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

This is the first post I sent, and apologise for not exactly following the discussion; am desperate to cut down as I feel that it is really affecting me.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

My drinking problem has returned after an almost 10 year absence. I have been drinking heavily again for the last four months and have managed to really cut down in the last three weeks. Yesterday I had a very nasty relapse; am afraid that the guilt is going to drive to drinking heavily again.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

I am sorry to read this happened Nodrama.

I can see why you would be hurt and frustrated by what happened. I think you did the right thing by talking to him about what happened. I also think you did the right thing by being assertive about your feelings and thoughts. How do you think you and your husband can work together to prevent something like this from happening again?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

It maybe something that awakened in him. Eckhart Tolle talks about emotional pain body in everybody, for some its dormant most of the time but once in a while it awakens. It could be that he was around some negative energy circles, it happens especially in a public place like restaurants, theaters and other places where you encounter people. Or something within him got triggered. We never know. Those are the time we have to give them space. Its better to watch our own egoic reaction, its easy to spot the behavior in others. But we got to grow in consciouness/awareness. Your husband may see the change and may not be able to deal with it but eventually he will recognise the growth in you. You may want to talk to him alone not in front of the kids. Whats all that about, at the restaurant? Allow him to respond and observe. If he gets defensive, he probably still under the egoic mindset if not he will open up.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

That sounds like a tough situation for you, Nodrama. Hard to order an ice tea and then be tempted with wine. Is your husband supportive of your quitting? Is he finding that new dynamic difficult? Might be worthwhile trying to talk to him to see what he is thinking? Best of luck as you work this through!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Thanks for the feedback Foxman. I agree with you that it seemed like they thought I was edgy because i was struggling. However, that couldn't be farther from the truth. It does seem that it was an opportunity to bring skeletons out of the closet and that's why I was so hurt because I didn't feel that I'd done any thing (recently)to deserve the scene. It wouldn't have been so bad had everyone (me included) not gotten loud at the stupid Olive Garden! LOL! I wanted to crawl under the table---in fact what got them to stop was my saying "if you don't stop bickering about ME I'm going to go sit in the car." My son did speak up and say to me----"I don't think you're having any issue now but, why would he even chance it? Why would he put you in that position? Especially when he knows we hate it?" That's the troubling question I guess....I sometimes feel that in his trying believe that I'm ok I almost feel that he's setting me up to drink excessivly. Why would someone do that? It's just bugging me I guess and I'm kind of typing it out to make sense of the dynamic that I see happening here.....Thanks!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Dealing with family members during our initial phase of recovery will be challenging. We have to be mentally prepared to face these challenges. Sudden emotional upheavals within and without. As we grow and show them that we are serious about our recovery, then things will turn around. If they sense that you are vulnerable, at weak moments, when their ego takes over, they would test you, like this event. They will bring out the hidden skeletons from the closet. Today for me, its not about drinks at all, at times its regular life situations that sometimes make me angry but I am vigilent. Not let that incident take over.

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