I am sorry to read you are deeply struggling. You clearly are resourceful and wanting change as you are coming here to post. Have you talked to your doctor about coming off these drugs? It is important to speak with your doctor about this. If you are having thoughts about harming yourself please get help asap, talk to your husband, your doctor or call a crisis line. I am not sure where you are located but if you are in the US: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ phone number: 1-800-273-8255. If you are in Canada: http://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/ phone number: 1.833.456.4566. If you are having serious thoughts about harming yourself not please call 911. Please don`t deal with these thoughts alone. Also, remember that alcohol is a depressant and will make depressed thoughts even worse. Remind yourself that drinking and possibly coming off medication is clouding your thinking now. Have you also been having trouble sleeping? This also may have a drastic impact on your mood and thoughts.
I am glad to hear you have had experience with other programs and supports. What did you find helpful in the past? Use the information you learned in the past now. Slips and relapses are often considered part of the learning process. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Try to learn from it and move on. Do you think coming off the medication triggered this relapse? Or was it something else? How were you able to abstain or moderate in the past?
As per my amazing subject line, I'm new! I was sober for a few months, then went on a family trip where I got sauced every day, and since then, I haven't been able to stop.
I was on medications to 1. curb alcohol cravings and 2. negate the effects of alcohol, but I came off of those in the hopes of eventually getting pregnant. I also came off of my sleep medication (I've had chronic insomnia for 25 years) and other medications that helped to balance out some of my other psychiatric medications. So to say the least, I have not felt myself for months and am deeply struggling.
My partner does not know how bad things are. That I am wanting to not be here. I've been in some programs, for various things, over the past 18 years...but here I am again. And I'm so tired.
Any support that anyone can offer me is appreciated more than I could ever express.
Thank you for welcoming me to this group. I look forward to supporting you, too.
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