So I'm writing this as a drunk man at 25 years of age. I have drank almost an entire 700ml bottle of whiskey by myself in about 4 hours tonight and have recently began to think I am an addict because when I drink I cannot stop until I have no alcohol left or I simply pass out. I do not know yet what I want from this program, but what I do know is that I have gotten drunk about 10 times in the last month and every single time it is the same thing. I can't stop drinking until I physically am ill or cannot drink no more because I am passed out. I think I just don't want to die like so many in my family have because of addiction. And I believe if I can get advice or some sort of help to get out of this, that will be a great start to that. I one day want to have children, a wife and a life that does not contain me just wanting alcohol because it is "fun" or because it drowns my depressed feelings about not being as successful as I want. I think I just want some advice right now, I hope that I am not the only one who have felt like this and am praying there is someone out there who can get me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Because honestly, right now in my life there is nothing that gets me more excited then seeing a beautiful bottle of whiskey and knowing I am going to drink the whole thing in one setting and feeling absolutely fantastic afterwards. I should add, that I am a very shy person without any liquid courage and feel like "myself" when I am drunk. Which is the main reason I drink, to feel like "myself" excepts I don't know if being drunk is being myself, I think it just gives me the courage to be myself infront of other people. Hope this is not to incoherent as I am very drunk right now writing this. Any advice to steer myself in the right path right now would be greatly appreciated.
