I'm really looking forward to seeing my therapist on monday. In all actuality, she's been trying to get me to look at my drinking pattern all along. I just didn't want to see...even though I clearly could see. I still felt that not being an every day drinker and not having problems arising due to a night of drinking every time was a good sign for me that I didn't have to look at it. Right now, I'm on day 5 and not planning on drinking. I'm looking into and understanding more of why I would binge and how I got to where I am now. Thank you for sharing with me!
Sounds like we are pretty much in the same boat. I too had a scary experience in December while binge drinking that led me here. I have been seeing a therapist and have had two appointments with an addictions counsellor for an assessment, it has been a huge help for me to really clarify where I sit on the scale of alcohol abuse- chemical dependancy. Your therapist will not only offer advice but they will likely give you helpful information, referrals and recommended reading so you can identify the cause of your pattern of alcohol use. You are on the right path. I recently read a book about addictions that was particularly helpful for me called "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" by Gabor Mate. Don't beat yourself up.
Thanks so much Athena. It means so much to have someone to talk with. Right now, today, I'm not quite at that point where I am able to forget the bad and think of the good, but I suspect that feeling will come and go. I think you are so brave what you are doing. I wish you much success and I believe you will succeed! I also agree that even little steps will help us in our recovery.
My family is precious to me and that is what I need to stay focused on. But, I've also come to realize that as much as beat myself up, I am also precious to me.So I guess those two huge reasons alone will hopefully keep me away from that first drink.
I can relate to alot of what you are saying. I am very afraid of the impact that my drinking has on my family. I recently shared with my husband that I have a real problem and while I think that I do have his support for now, I am placing so much at risk.
Somehow we need to remember what those awful times feel like to help motivate us to stay sober. And also to cherish the good, clear thinking moments we share with our families as confirmation that we are on the right track.You are so brave to come here and share you struggles. You are not alone. I am in a somehwat precarious state of mind right now where I have started the process of entering a day treatment program and admitted to my husband that I need help - but I am still drinking daily. My big acheivement today was that I didn't finish the bottle of wine.
Maybe we need to try and stay focussed on why we know we need to change. What is precious to you and how is that threatened by your drinking?
Well, I do suffer from depression and panic/anxiety disorder as well, butI think my very bad weekend really scared me.Not only did I put myself in a very bad situation but I have realized that it's not just about me. What I do affects those around me and those I love. That has really caused so much anguish these past few days.The anxiety has been high, I've beaten myself to a pulp and now, today, I'm ready to take action and do something about it.I'm thinking that has helped the panic feeling to subside some.
I have found the program in the toolbox and found it pretty helpful in knowing exactly where I am at, triggers, etc.
I'm so happy to know I can come on here and just talk. It makes me feel less alone.We live in a world where many people drink alcohol, I know I will run into problems at times..I'm so happy I have a place to go now where people will understand exactly how Im feeling. Thank you so much for being here.
It sounds like you are determined to take control of this. You sound strong and ready to meet your goal.
Yes, the program is in your toolbox. The is no buddy system and we use these forums as a type of chat room. feel free to check in other forums, read and support other members here. You can post as much as you like as long as conversation is mainly about alcohol reduction. I'm glad that the panic feeling is starting to subside. What do you think is causing this?
Hi Ashley, and thank you. I think what I really need is just support and understanding.Ive made huge steps these past fews days to ensure my goal. I will see my therapist on Monday, I've spoken to my husband and I have his support as well.I've admitted that I do indeed have a problem and do not want to live my life like this.I actually feel stronger admitting it.It feels like for me, the beginning of healing and moving on with my life.I used to say, "I have a problem with drinking once in a while". I realize now that that statement was a permission to myself to continue to drink.
The program you speak of, is it in my toolbox section? Is there a chat room or some type of buddy system?Is this the type of place where I can come and just "talk"?
thank you again....the panic in my stomach is starting to subside some.
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad weekend. However, recognize that it takes strength and courage to face this problem so good for you! I encourage you to read through the program as it will give you a lot of important information.
How would you like us to support you? What can we do that will benefit you?
Thank you so much for replying to me. I really didn't expect any replies...probably because I feel so low. This past weekend? Well it was a complete disaster, I way overdrank and put myself into a very dangerous situation as well as let my family down. I don't ever want to be in that position again..ever. My goals? I guess at this point to live an alcohol free life. I know there are plenty of times I was able to drink and stop but, just the few times a year that I haven't stopped...thats a problem, a big one and I think the best approach is for me to not even take that first one at all.Am I an alcoholic? I don't know, bUT, I do know I am a problem drinker.
I want help so badly. I do see a therapist and I will see her on Monday..she does know whats happening.
Anyone that can talk to me, help me through this..I would so very much appreciate it.
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