Last time I saw my therapist he gave me some psychometric tests to fill out. Today we discussed what came out of it. It was hard to hear and at the same time fascinating and interesting. It will give me lots to think about. I won't share all of it with you here as it would take too long lol.
But what came out, is that I have several symptoms of anxiety and depression, that it would seem I am in an anxious state and a depressive state. I am a a perfectionist and very very hard on myself, if not down right mean to myself. I have a lot of inner conflict. Finally, I am slow to change, kind of afraid of change and stubborn and like to be in control.
So basically, I am anxious and depressed. I need to make a lot of changes in my lifestyle and my thinking. Except that I hate change, am stubborn and only like things to happen my way lol!
Seriously, I am glad we did this. It gives me things to think about and an idea of what is going on with me and what needs to get done and what needs changing.
We discussed medication. We came to the conclusion adding and anti-depressant to my anxiety meds would be the best way to go. I have cut out my sleeping meds as my insomnia doesn't really go away lol. Tomorrow I see my doctor so I can discuss it with her too, so that is good.
So that is what is up with me today. All in all though, I still feel oddly well despite being anxious, depressed and tired. I know it doesn't make much sense. But I feel hopeful that things are on the mend and that I will get better.
And hey, compared to where I was and where my life was say 5 years ago, atm I am feeling stellar! Life just goes on improving for me despite the ups and downs. I just know it will keep getting better and this is just a rough phase.
This too shall pass!
I am learning to change and learning to take better care of myself. My life has improved tremendously in the last decade and although this is a rough patch I just know it will get better again! Good things are coming my way!
