I’m 33, I’ve struggled with depression since I was 8, at that point they called it generalized depression, after a car accident at 18 they called it PTSD, at 20 they called it Post-Partum, at 24 they decided it was Bi Polar disorder (which I don’t necessarily agree with, the diagnosis was based on other family members diagnosis’s not my actual case). I have been to multiple professionals in that time as insurances changed, Dr’s retired or moved, I have been on more medications than I can count, none of which did more good than the side effects warranted. I have been off medication and refusing to see a Dr for a few years, I’m just simply put tired of it. Tired of one size fits all programs and treatment consisting of a 5 min apt and a new script. I’m here to take this from a different angle, there is no why at this stage in life, and I’m hoping a re-boot of the base logic will help.
I have 2 kids, I’ve been divorced from their father and I co-habitate with a fantastic man I hope to someday call my husband. He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. I over analyze, second guess, and my head noise is my own worst enemy. My ex used to tell me I was paranoid, I was imagining things, it was all in my head, 10 years of that and anyone would question reality (turns out he was cheating on me, he was a drug addict, he was taking my belongings and my money). I’m new here, I want this to work, I want to change my mental scenery and ditch the broken record. For me personally I don’t think another MD will do any good. I have Kaiser, my daughter is ADHD, my son is high functioning Autistic (after finally getting a real diagnosis, and real testing through his new school, he was labeled bi-polar since he was 8, his diagnosis was based on mine), Kaiser prescribes them pills and that’s it, actual treatment is only offered at school. The schools they are in are fantastic and they both have bloomed beautifully this year, my girl is the best I’ve ever seen her in terms of learning and social adaptation. My son has friends, for the first time in ages and his grades are climbing. My kids are the light of my life, and to see them doing so well warms my heart.
