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My marriage is in crisis...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

The one I am reading right now by Deepak Chopra is "Creating Affluence". I have also read "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" and "The Third Jesus". I like them all. I want to read more of his work, but it takes me time to read....I don't have alot of patience with myself, can y'all tell. lol

Diva, you pose some very good questions about addiction. You shouldn't feel guilty for time you have by yourself as a result of anything he does. Is that enabling.....I don't think so. You have no control over someone else's behavior. The basis of all addictions are the same. There are 12 step programs to help people who have love one's who are addicted (i.e. al-anon) and all you have to do is substitute the work gaming for alcohol. Or choose another twelve step program and do the same. You really don't have to join any kind of group - and it's googlable (is that a 21st century word?). I like emotions anonymous and their daily meditation, helps me with my depression. You have to decide for yourself if you are enabling, but that doesn't make you responsible for his behavior and you have NO control over it!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

I went and did some research on gaming addiction. I do not think my husband is an extreme case of gaming addiction but I do think he might be a gaming addict. some of the stuff on there really reminded me of him. As I said the more extreme stuff does not apply to him or his life but enough reminded me of him to scare me. Also, it made me relaize that if he is an addict I am an enabler! I am totally an enabler. Because as much as I want him to cut back I am not sure I want him to quit altogether. I think sometimes his game playing suits me just fine. It gives me time for myself without guilt. It enables me to get distance and space when I need it. does that make me horrible? It does make me an enabler though no? Is he an addict? Argh, this is all so complicated.

Btw, can you be an online help group addict. If so, I think I am....

Bleh, I need to stop worrying and thinking so much. Me and him will start councelling soon and we will sort things out.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Rose, Deepak Chopra is an inspiring individual............it's a great idea to read his work and take from it whatever works for you. Members, if any of you have read his books please share which ones were most significant for you. Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

you do sound alot more positive and good things have been happening. he turned off the games - kudos to him! i know how you feel about not doing enough! did you see that commercial with deepak chopra? he said something like i am a human being - not a human doing or a human thinking - but a human being. that was a real kick in the head for me! yeah - why can't we just "be". not all the time of course, but this might be the key to anxiety - we are allowed to just "be". not think or do or feel like you're not thinking enough/well enough or doing enough/good enough. i'm going have to start reading his books. anyone familiar with which one to start with?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Diva,

I agree with mom of 3 in that your post did sound very positive

You have come a long way Diva, and that is definitely something to be proud of. It seems like what you really need to work on is relaxing!! Hope you had a relaxing evening last night!

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 16

diva

i hope your time away was relaxing and you had a nice time

just wanted you to know that i cared about you as i have no word of advise or wisdom but that you had my support

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

Your post sounds very positive. It does seem like your husband listened to what you had to say and is making efforts.

As for being away - that sounds great! I hope it was a relaxing experience for you. It sounds like you're having some real successes!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya Mom of 3,

Thanks for reminding me that I am hard one myself. Somehow I always feel like I donèt do enough. I feel like I am not hard enough on myself! I havenèt gotten back to doing my homework but I will :)

As for my husband, He took more time for me off the computer and I really appreciate it. We have spoken more lately. On top of it he agreed to set some time aside to do housework. So here is hoping this keeps up! I am cautiously optimistic.

Also, I am not home atm. I am kind of proud of myself. I was offered a chance to go off to the Big City all by muself and take some time just for me to relax. I was really anxious not only about going to a big town but being on my own. But I did it. I am still a bit nervous, expecially about sleeping, but I am ok. My hubby helped me though. He drove me there! Wow that was alot of driving for him. But he knew I was scared and the car with him was easier then the bus or train. So that was super of him. So here I am typing to you from another town all by myself. I am proud of myself!

So that is the news for me. I am tired. I will go look at other posts and log off to go relax some more! I am bad at relaxing...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

Glad you understand. Your plan sounds like a good one and the fact that your husband shut off the computer to talk is a good sign. I wish you continued success.

You are hard on yourself, the home work is there but sometimes I can't do it either. Right now it's enough to just challenge my negativity. I can't even think about what's next! Move at your pace and no other. As for tired and unmotivated, I think we've got the beginnings of a club.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

Thank you for you supportive reply. You are in my thoughts and prayers also. I completely understand what you are saying. I often find myself having trouble replying to you. I find myself at a loss for words. I want to impart wisdom or advice but your situation is so close to mine all I can say to you is that I care and I am here. So I get it. And just knowing you are here, helps me so much! So know I am there for you too! Thanks again for your support!

Part of my plan is to take more time to talk to each other calmly. So today we had a good chat. He shut the computer and we talked. I felt sad today and now I feel a bit better. I think he is willing to try to put this in action. I am trying not to get my hopes up to high but I figure it is a small but good start!

So that is my news for now for my marriage.

On the depression front, today was tough. I feel tired and really really lame. I feel very down on myself. My husband says I am much too hard on myself. Also, I havenèt been doing my Dep. Center homework...Bad Diva, bad!. I intend to start over from week one and give it another go. It is weird though. I am usually so disciplined for theese things. I am just so tired and unmotivated theese days... Bleh! But I will start over. I am going to get better!

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