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My marriage is in crisis...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Diva,

Even though you may be going through some difficult times with your husband, it sounds like you are being very patient and determined. This is something that he probably values in your relationship. Continue to focus on these positives in yourself and your relationship with him.

How have you approached the subject of going grocery shopping or him failing his class? What are some way that you would like to be approached about these topics (if you were in his position)? Perhaps by reflecting on positive communication techniques, these discussions may be easier for the both of you?

Let us know how these discussions go!

Sarah, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey,

Well, we did not go to his moms but that is because he got home late from his game. He had fun so I am glad. Since, we have learned he is failling his class. I am pretty annoyed with him since he plays instead of studying but am trying to be positive and helpful about it al instead of shrill and angry. Not sure how well I am succeeding as inside I feel shrill and angry! But am trying!

Am also frustrated as he won't take me grocery shopping and we are running out of food. I don't drive...But I think I will go by myself anyway and just pay a taxi home! I can do this!

Besides that, we have been managing some kind of a truce and are trying to be understanding of each other. We have an apointment in 2 weeks!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Faryal,

Yes, he is around and seems willing to work on things and that is why I kept my tongues in my mouth yesterday and kept my thoughts to myself. Today he only had a half day as he won hockey tickets from work. So they arranged for him to be able to go to the match. I hate cuts in his pays as we are broke but I am so happy about this. He is actually going out to a live event with a live in the flesh person! No video games. I could not be more thrilled for him! And hey, I get the house to myself to do my things! Win-win!

Don't know if I have mentionned it but hubby said he would talk to his doctor about getting anti-depressants. I hope he will! But whether he ends up doing it or not, the fact he is considering it is a big step for him. I would so love for him to get help! We will see.

We might even head over to his mom's house after his game! Now that would be a wild people filled day away from the computer for him. So I do hope we go. I think seeing his family would be good for him. They judge me a lot for having depression and anxiety. So we don't get along so well them and me. They don't understand me. But they are civil. As such, I would definetely go if it enables him to see people who make him feel good!

Anyway, so that is my marriage news!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Diva,

That's great news about the therapist scheduling an appointment with you. Please keep us posted on how it goes.

As for your hubby not going to work, sometimes some things are just better left unsaid. I'm sure he realizes you were disappointed.......maybe he is too.

Enjoy your weekend and try to focus on the positives in your life - your husband is still around and willing to work through things.

Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Today, hubby did not go to work again! I was angry a first but managed not to get into a fight with him about it. Was I in denial though, or putting up a front? Who knows. But we had a lazy day. Did not do much. I am really hyper though so I have tried to keep myself busy and out of trouble lol. Therapist lady called back and gave us a new appointment! Phew! So that is the news!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Rose,

I do hope she does take us back. She still has not called back and that worries me. I liked her and I do not want to change therapist! She was so hard to find! But I am still hopeful she might call back and give us an appointment...

I did thank him for saying he will go back. I told him I love him and want to make this work. It did feel good to know I was not crazy though lol. And I think it is amazing he will go back and told him I was grateful. Anyway, I am about to start rambling so I will stop now. Today we pretty much had a day apart so our day went well lol. All kidding aside he was very nice to me when we did spend time. But I had a visitor today. He did give me lifts though which was very sweet of him!

Anyway, I hope she calls back! I hope this helps!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 201

wow! of course, she will take you back! sounded very interesting, i would've liked to have been a fly on the wall - you could have strangled him

hilarious! and she backed you up! and then he stormed out! i think you're making much progress. he is afraid to admit cause once he does, he faces the hard work of changing. his lifestyle, attitute, etc. you were never crazy

that he says he will go back - now you have to reward him - praise the positive behavior - really, you are more mature than he is, so you have to reinforce his willingness. hindsight is 20/20!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Rose,

Thanks for the lovely reply and the kind words!

Btw, we went to the councellors yeaterday me and my hubby. We had been fighting all day, then we had therapy. Yeesh it got rough. I wonder what the poor lady would have been thinking!Oh man, in the cold light of therapy me and my hubby are even crazier and dysfunctional then previously estimated! He even stormed out before the end of the meeting and everything. But he agrees to go back. That is if she will still have us. I left her a message to get a new appointment but she has not called back yet. Hope she gives us another appointment. We definetely need it! Anyway, so that is how that went.

Oh! And he denied having gaming issues in there I could have strangled him! Anyway, she told him he seemed depressed and he is responsible for getting better! That he did have to go for help and couldn't expect me to stand by him if he refused to help himself. That made me feel so much better! I am not crazy or mean for thinking that! Shrotly after he stormed out!

But he did accept going back if she wants us back. So here is to hoping she likes drama!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 201

so how did your meeting go? you are not a bad wife! you obviously care and are trying - he isn't. you can't force him to. wouldn't that be nice if we could bend people to our will? i've tried - doesn't work - dammit! hang in there, you deserve to be happy - you could be happy with or without him, if you had to.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Btw,

Hubby stayed home from work again today. He played too late and got up late and called in sick. We have been fighting all day. I think my marriage is over but it just doesn'T know it or wants to accept it yet! I am going to councellor's tonight but not as hopeful about it as I would like.

I am a bad wife and we fight non-stop. I don't understand him and he doesn't understand me. I love him, he loves me but I am not sure our marriage isn't over.

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