Only you can answer why you go back to it so readily, Dorothy. That's kind of what the Good Witch of the East said "you had the answer all along...I couldn't have told you because you wouldn't have believed me". Somewhere along the way smoking became entrenched in your psychi. It did in mine and it's sneaky. Figuring out triggers can sometimes answer the question of what smoking fulfilled in you. Some people say they smoke when they are relaxed (after dinner), some smoke to relax (when stressed), some tell themselves they are smoking to celebrate (at a party), others because they are depressed. I will tell you that an alcoholic says the same thing, but when an addiction is said to satisfy all these things, it's not hard to see that one is smoking to smoke. I don't know how long your other quits were, and I don't know how long it takes to re-circut (doesn't this thing have spell check?)after nicotine, but I can tell you that it is an incredibly strong physical addition. I'm gonna have to end up making this next statement my signature. I can tell you that I had quit for 11 years and have been smoking for the last three, with a few minor quits peppered in. This is serious business. You have a major monkey on your back and its gonna take all your resources to fight the good fight and never let your guard down. As one person stated on this site, and I can't remember who right now - one puff away from two packs a day. Best of luck to you - call in the calvary.