Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Addiction

Lynn123

2024-03-27 3:02 PM

Managing Drinking Community

logo

New Year's Resolutions

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-03-25 2:47 AM

Managing Drinking Community

logo

Water

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-03-17 5:24 PM

Healthy Weight Community

logo

What motivates you?

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-03-10 10:30 PM

Quit Smoking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

DM555 3 3

Browse through 411.742 posts in 47.053 threads.

160,431 Members

Please welcome our newest members: Jgorilla, anna13, CCaballero, JJAY EVANGEL, VKATE DARLENE

Dont want to deal with today


14 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lance,Trying to do it all at once is overwhelming.  Just set one little goal, accomplish it, set another, accomplish it, then maybe set two.  Then maybe develop a whole plan.  When we start out it's one day, one goal, one small step but as we grow in our recovery we gain self-confidence and don't seem so overwhelmed.  I know that initially I could not set major goals or many goals.  Now I can set a few but still can get overwhelmed by issues that I know need to be addressed but I can't right now - prioritized goals. 
Take it easy, make one goal - do the first lesson of the first session.  I know that coming out of this recent setback, I've had to start slow again and build.  I'm not where I was, but I know I'll get there. 
I think you should think about the things in your post you said that you have accomplished.  Ah ha, got out of bed, because you typed something. you've felt grateful, you are thinking about what you want things to be like, you have a goal for the 27th to work on exposure and "the work".  You have already printed it off.  You recognize you need to spend time on your planner.  You recognize you have many issues to work on.  You recognize that you need to take one task at a time.  You recognize we aren't as young as we used to be and we have some issues that interfere (besides age) with what we are able to do right now. 
Hey, I think that sounds like a very accomplished and busy day.  What else did you do yesterday?  What have you done today? 
Hang in there Lance.  Keep us posted on what is going on and how you are feeling.
 
14 years ago 0 194 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Thanks again, just hard to feel like I have come far, when i am no where near where I have been in life. But I hear you.

Tomorrow, I really want to work on my exposure and doing "The work". I printed it off, I just drag my feet on what I need to be doing. I want to spend time in my planner and working on a plan to get back to the point I was at. I think doing these things will make me feel like I am making progress. I think my problem is I get so many things started, then cant focus and keep on task. I was such a multi tasker in the restaurant, catering business. I had to be. I was able to run a commercial kitchen, help the cooks, while working on banquets, taking calls, ordering, booking, loading vans, preparing food etc. all at the same time! It was a lot more than that too, but it was insane. But, I could do it. Caters from 10 to 1400 people, all my resonsibility, usually with little support. I was fried, I never want that much responsibility again. Imagine having to cater five (5) Weddings in one weekend for 150 to 300 guests each! That was in addition to my restaurant duties. All the guests I served over 30 years were happy. Never had a complain, lot of nice thank you letters. But the guy I worked for, oh boy, nothing was ever enough. The sad part, everything that all that work got me, I no longer have. Im starting over, thats whats hard, Im not 18 anymore, life looks a lot different right now and what it looks like I dont know.

14 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lance,
 
Goofy is absolutely right.  You are not whining.  What you are going through right now is incredibly hard, feeling sad right now is a normal reaction.  But smoking and drinking will not make it better.  You know that.  You have worked so hard, do not let that be taken away from you.  Everyone on this forum will agree you are an incredibly strong person.  I have told you so many times how amazing I think you are, how strong you are and I will keep telling you this.  Your kids a very lucky to have a father who went through so much and is still fighting.  Still fighting, even when they said for you to go away.  They may not realize it now but one day they will understand how incredibly strong you are.  Tomorrow do something great for yourself.  Your hard work will pay off look at how far you have come in such a short period of time.  Keep fighting we are right here for you.  Keep posting.  What are you going to do tomorrow?
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lance, I don't see your posts as whining or crying.  I think you are using them for their intended purpose to get feedback, to express yourself when you need to, to just hear from someone who knows what it is like.....You are not whining.  You are letting us know what is going on with you.  We want you to do that!  Please don't stop.
 
Drinking and smoking I think may be a factor in where you are today.  You know as well as I that doesn't lead to happiness.  Alcohol is a depressant, being depressed is enough depressant don't you think?  I know alcohol only leads to heart ache and pain and does not resolves issues but many times we have more issues after we become sober than we did when we started drinking. 
 
Lance, you are strong, you are getting through this, you are expressing your feelings and what is going on, you are posting and doing these things makes us get even stronger.  Blog, write here, write here, blog, just keep us informed and
DON'T DRINK OR SMOKE! 
 
14 years ago 0 194 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Not sure if I should call my wife and kids or not. The last time I spoke with my wife it was pretty bad. My son just let me know he hates me and my daughter told me to stop stalking her. ( I sent her a message with my space ) Im supposed to be having dinner with people at another house affiliated with this one, and most of them I dont like. I have my driving issue on my mind and I want to smoke! ( lets just do it all here ) Drinking sounds good today as well. My joke yesterday was if I relapsed it would be with a smoke! I am just not ready to deal with the holidays this year. I thought all my years in the catering business was hard working 70-90 hour weeks, now dealing with not working and not being with my family is harder.

Last night I layed awake until about 3:00 again, I said Im going to be strong, not whine and cry on these posts anymore. So why cant I, why cant I be the tough strong person I once was. Im sorry.


Reading this thread: