Last week we asked you to keep track of how many times you are
falling into problematic communication patterns. Today, we will explore
a strategy referred to as reframing. This technique is also helpful
during disputes and to gain better control over anger.
Reframing is about changing perception by understanding something in another way.
What
reframing does is to say, “Look, this external thing occurs and it
elicits this response in you, so you assume that you know what the
meaning is. But if you thought about it this other way, then you would
have a different response.” Being able to think about things in a
variety of ways builds a spectrum of understanding. None of these ways
are 'really' true, though. They are simply statements about a person's
understanding.
There are two basic kinds of
reframes: context reframing and content reframing. Both can alter our
internal representations of events or situations, which permits us to
experience the events in other, hopefully, more resourceful ways.
Context
reframing offers an understanding of how we make meaning through the
environment - physical, intellectual, cultural, historical, and
emotional - in which a situation occurs. It can also provide a pattern
of thinking that helps us see the value in every situation regardless of
any perceived downside.
Context reframing is taking an
experience that seems to be negative, not useful, and distressing and
showing how the same behavior or experience can be useful in another
context. Children's stories are full of reframes designed to show
children how what might seem a liability can be useful in another
context. For example, the other reindeer made fun of Rudolph's bright,
red nose; but that funny nose made Rudolph the hero on a dark night.
Context
reframing can be used as a "perceptual filter," taught and practiced
until it becomes an integral and habitual way of organizational
thinking. It is a very useful tool in business as it is the way of
thinking that gives one the ability to make lemonade from those
unexpected (and unwanted) lemons. Creativity, new visions, innovations
are commonplace for those who know to reframe and recontextualize
problems and obstacles into opportunities and resources.
A
context reframe is useful for statements such as: ‘I am too pushy.’ or
‘I wish I did not focus on what could go wrong.’ In this type of
situation, the individual has assumed that this type of behavior has no
value. You can discover when it is of value by asking yourself the
question ‘When or where would this behavior be useful or viewed as a
resource?’ A possible reframe might be: ‘Isn’t that a great skill to
have when I’ll need to get things done or to avoid potential problems?’
Once you have reframed your problem you can begin to explore behaviors
that may be more appropriate in other situations.
Almost all
behaviors are useful or appropriate in some context. Interrupting a
speaker by standing up and offering your view in the middle of her
lecture may be judged as inappropriate. To do this same behavior at the
end of the presentation in order to provide a different perspective may
be welcomed by all present.
