Okay Ashley, It's inconsistent to say I live one day at a time in this relationship and worry about the future. I don't think I can visualize what I would think looking back on this situation 5 years from now or 1 year from now. I really do think it would be based on how well, I handle the situation if/when it arises.
One day at a time means just taking what happens to day and dealing with it. When I get a bill, pay it. when a situation arises deal with it. When an invitation arises, accept it. Focusing on not being depressed "just for today" (borrowed from 12 step program). Usually what creates my "downfalls" is when something happens that causes me to have to think forward or beyond today. i.e. I got a letter in the mail from a dr. office saying I owed them lots of money. I called them to tell them they'd processed through the wrong insurance company. They gave me this list of things to do and it's a long drawn out process and that makes me have to focus on more than just today and how will things turn out. Just for today or one day at a time, helps me focus on what I have to be grateful for today. tomorrow I can take the same inventory and may have a different list. lol, that one day, I wasn't grateful for the mail, the dr. billing office, the insurance company, or the list of things to do, but I was grateful for a whole host of other things. family, friends, house, vehicles, dog, love, my higher power, my spirituality, my material possessions, the progress I've made in my depression, what money I have, the food I eat. I mean that list goes on and on. And that keeps having to do that bill thingy more in perspective.
The relationship can't realistically be one day at a time. If we are planning to be together, go somewhere, something comes up and we can't be together. I feel elated, or happy or disappointed, or hurt, or whatever emotions fit the situation. I guess any relationship focuses on "beyond today". We know we are gonna all die one day, so one day at a time, does help me be grateful for another day with those I love or have friendships with. I dunno. I am talking myself into a circle and I thought I had it clear in my head.
In response to your other post. I do think I need to make me a list, check it twice and figure out what needs to be done first, figure a budget, time frame and get moving....I think that would help tremendously.
How do I feel about the relationship - well anxious when I think about the risk and happy when I think about the companionship. I deserve to be in a dating relationship but my biggest fear is returning to where i was (posted re: this in mod's corner) and there is a session (which I've not gotten to) that says preparing for the return of depression. So it's like I need to prepare for Hurricane Goofy, in case the relationship goes bust! How does one do that? Visualize myself 5 years from now, but 5 years from now, I could be just digging myself out of my proverbial hole. 1 year from now, I could be back in that da** bed. I guess you can see I've also had difficulty with how I felt when I read that. The see-saw or scales don't seem to balance Ashley!
Anyone else got any thoughts. Grumbles, I think your philosophy is great. How do you handle it when a relationship goes bust, how does it effect your depression? Can you visualize yourself 5 years from now with or without your current relationship status (even if you aren't in one)??? I think you provided me with a great suggestion re: my house, grumbles, ty. I look forward to seeing what yo
