I have been reading Session 3 about Challenging Anxious Thoughts. I understand what is being said about "proving" if an anxious thought is true or not.
Changing a thought pattern by analyzing/questioning it, I totally understand and could do that. I see how that could make a big difference as far as "defusing" anxious thoughts.
In my case, my biggest fear is that it will cause me to loose controls of my bowels in public. This is a very real physiological response to anxiety or panic for me. It is a virtually guaranteed response/outcome.
How can you break the pattern where your body won't cause this kind of response? Keeping in mind that if I take medicine to "stop me up", it will in virtually every case cause a Crohn's episode (intense lower right quadrant pain like an appendicitis attack with overall feeling of flu-like symptoms [aches and low-grade fever]). A Crohn's episode will last about 3 days once started.
Dealing with the fear elements such as racing heart, sweaty hands, tingling, etc. are all symptoms, while very uncomfortable, will subside when the panic situation is gone and there is no tell-tale signs of them ever being there. In my case, in addition to those sensations and the feeling of wanting to be out of the situation itself, it triggers this bowel issue where I have to find a bathroom immediately or I will soil myself which will be not only embarrassing, but messy...causing me to go home and shower and clean my clothes. This interrupts everything you were doing and puts a huge thought in your mind to not leave the house for fear (and likelihood) that this will occur as it has occurred a number of times before. The urgent need for the bathroom can and does happen even at home where there is no threat of public embarrassment. I just happen to be close to the bathroom and can in almost all cases get to the bathroom in time to not have a mess.
As an example, a friend of mine was helping me to get out and go to a store I really wanted to go to. It is about 25 miles away and so there is a car ride involved and me as a passenger which I don't like to be, but with him, I trusted him completely and knew he would help me and not judge me regardless of anything happening. I was already anxious about the trip before we went as I am sure you can imagine. He was completely aware of the possibility of me needing to stop for me to use a bathroom at a moments notice. Well, about half way there, I needed to use the bathroom. Because this hits without warning, I told him to pull off the road so I could use a field to do my "business" (I live rurally). He said he would find a bathroom. Keep in mind that I cannot hold this back for very long at all once I have to go. We pulled into a random business and I had to go in and ask if I could use their bathroom...all the while holding everything back as hard as I could and trying to put on a good front for the people at the business. I basically made it to the bathroom with just a little mess. We then continued driving toward the store. After getting into the city where the store was located, I started to cry uncontrollably. My anxiety was extreme. He was very supportive and caring through all of this. We finally made it to the store and before going in, I tried to compose myself. While in the store, I had to go across the street 3 times to use a bathroom at a restaurant because of this issue (the store had no public restrooms). I was so anxious that I didn't even enjoy the store and finally said we had to leave after maybe being there 45 mins to an hour.
Once we were on our way back, my anxiety subsided completely and had an uneventful drive back home. That was a harrowing experience that was witnessed by someone. If that had been someone I didn't know so well and trust completely, it would have been even more disastrous.
Now, just like having a panic attack...this doesn't kill you, but this does cause a much bigger problem than having the symptoms/sensations of a panic attack that once resolved you can go about your "business" relatively easily.
Since my fear...the thought of public embarrassment is the big issue and it has proven itself multiple times (even at home), how do you deal with that cognitively?
My doctors (and specialists) haven't found anything truly wrong with my lower GI tract. They say it is anxiety induced and the only way to stop it is to eliminate the anxiety. This is after MANY exhaustive and expensive tests and trials of medications which had no affect without causing a Crohn's episode by "stopping me up".
