I want to thank you for helping me yesterday, for asking me the right questions, for helping me think this through,
and for helping me work through my issues. You are very good at what you do and we are so lucky to have you here with us helping us find our way. I wanted to let you know I am not afraid of doing jury duty anymore. I am confident that I can do it and I am actually looking forward to the challenge. I am one HUGH step closer to taking control over my life and getting well and it feels GREAT.
I ventured out yesterday to the zoo again yesterday for a couple of hours. The crowds of people are still a problem for me.
I was taking some pictures and a person came up and was holding their camera right next to my ear. I was startled by this but did not move or run which is a improvement. This is so hard to take at times and makes it hard for me to leave again.
I was wondering how others handle being in crowds?
There is no need to be sorry and you were not annoying me. I know you were trying to help me and I want to thank you for that. I am sorry if I seemed short with you. I was just trying to work some things out in my mind and was describing the situation. Having your support is very important to me.
I am sorry to hear your Dr. visit didn't go the way you wanted. I hope you are relaxing today and in less pain. You handled your exposure very well and should be very proud of yourself. I myself haven't been to a Dr. in 8 months. My last visit was a total waste of time. I told the nurse off and haven't been back since. I figure I will go back when I need to or have to. You handled the situation much better than I would have. I hope you get your meds soon and get some relief from your pain.
Red
PS I tried to send you a longer post but this thing timed me out twice so I guess this post will have to do for now.
I know you are scared about counseling. Try to look at it this way. The counselor maybe able to help you handle dealing with your brother better. I know a counselor I met through grief group. I called him one day and talked to him on the phone about some problems I was having with my brother. He helped me out and reassured me that I was doing the right thing for myself and helped me come up with some solutions. This counselor you are going to see will be someone you can talk to a neutral third party and maybe able to help you figure things out. If you are not comfortable with this counselor and it is not a good fit than maybe you can see about getting a different one. If I was you I would give yourself and this counselor a shot at it you have nothing to lose and maybe a lot to gain
I really have no routine in my life and I have been thinking if I could get some type of routine that maybe it would help me.
I am retired and seem to have no direction in my life. I spent most of my life taking care of my family and now that they are all gone I seem to have lost any direction or purpose in my life. I am now having to find out who I really am without them.
I keep thinking if I had some type of routine that it would help me. This anxiety and agoraphobia is making it hard or is it the lack of routine that is making the anxiety and agoraphobia worse. They seem to play on each other. I am still trying to figure it out and finding my way.
I also find that I lack self confidence and that I have a tendency to second guess a lot things I do. It seems that the more I think about something I want to do the more anxiety sets in and than I am not able to do anything. I am working on this by trying to leave the house more. I guess I need to make sure I keep challenging those anxious and negative thoughts. I find it can be very tiring at times.
I am just starting to work on a plan. I think the first thing I need to do is start off small and expand it slowly. I will need to add to it later or I will get bored. This is my rough draft of routine. 1. When I get up in the morning I need to shower and get dressed while the coffee is brewing and not sit around drinking coffee and smoking. 2. Get in the car and go somewhere to walk everyday or go swimming. 3. Come home and have breakfast. 4. Maybe doing a little sewing or reading. 5.Straighten up the house. 6. run some errands if I need to but don't sit around doing nothing. 7. Make a plan and time for dinner. 8. go to bed no later than 10 p.m. This is just a start and a work in progress. I really do think I need some structure and continuity to my life. It is going to be hard to stick to it and I am going to have to really set my mint to it. I feel like I am just learning how to crawl. It is scary leaving the house but I always feel much better after I do it. I agree with Davit that I also need to spend less time on the computer which is really hard to do when the computer really opens up the world for a agoraphobic but at the same time it also disables one also. It makes it so much easier to stay locked up in your safe cocoon. Anyway this is my plan and a work in progress. I am also thinking of making a outline of my routine and putting it on the Frig.
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