I achieved my 1 month of no alcohol and that was great. My next goal was to buy some vodka, my favorite poison and see if I could moderate my drinking. That part of this experiment did not go too well. I was hoping that bottle would last a week or more and I would have a drink or two through the day. Once I start I am unable to moderate. I went through 1.75 liters in 3 days of steady sipping. Today is now another day one and I will ponder on what or where to go from here.
My main reason for not drinking was to not spend all of my money on booze. I was paying my bills and such but draining all my extra cash on alcohol. Not a very sound financial plan. lets see if I can restart my no alcohol journey and continue to keep some money in my bank account. Maybe I should look at making a still ( joking of course).
Right now I have not set any long term goals and just want to be alcohol free for the few days while I ponder my capabilities.
Just finished day 2 of no alcohol and it was not too difficult to get back on track. I think if I don't have that bottle of vodka in the house calling me I am fine. When bought the bottle of vodka I also purchased one of those larger bottles of beer, it has like 3 glasses of beer in it. That is still in my fridge, I may drink that while watching one of the World Series baseball games. When visiting my son for a weekend sometimes I will just take a case of beer and drink that. He will drink rum sometimes but he usually never drinks more than one or two. (He has no problem moderating since he has never gone past that point.)
My main reason to moderate / abstain is the cost of the alcohol. I simply can not afford to spend the amount I was. The $600 or more I didn't spend on booze looks darn good in my bank account. No matter what I will keep to my budget, I just hoped I could have made that bottle last way more than 3 days !! This means me abstaining more days than I originally thought I would.
This journey is a lot about reevaluations and course corrections. Foxman, I don't think I am at the point where I want or need to never drink again but that option is still on the table if I find myself unable to control how I consume the booze.
Stay strong and be true to yourself, every thing else falls into place then.
If you read the forum at all you see that my posts are rarely short. I find the forums a great place to verbalize and organize my thoughts. No one judges anyone here because we are all in the same boat. On occasion I have spend an hour or two reading old post and get a glimpse or two of some other journeys. It all is very safe and private here as we are working towards the same goal. Not to have alcohol control our lives, we all want the control back.
I don't do the diary or use much of the toolbox at all and that seems to work for me. Others here like using the tools this site provides and if that works for them then awesome !!!. Part of this journey is learning how to cope and motivate yourself. We are here to help, share and cheer you on but the journey is yours and no one can do it for you. Mistakes or slips will happen just try and learn from them. Reducing triggers can help greatly.
Everyone knows that ant can't move that rubber tree plant... Ooops there goes another rubber tree plant --- (High Hopes of course ... lol)
A slip is not a fail, I wrote that in this topic a couple weeks ago. You are not back to square one you just had a slip. I know you can get back on track as you just did almost 2 months with no wine. If you trip and fall you don't give up walking and just lie down forever. You get back up and look for the hazard that tripped you. You then fix the hazard so it doesn't happen again.
Another way to look at is if you decided to run a 3 mile course. There is a small incline about 1/2 ways and the ground is a bit slippery. part way up the incline you lose you footing and slide back a few feet as you drop to your knees. You don't get up and go back to the start you get back up and navigate that slope better and carry on to the finish line.
You have done extremely well. Refocus on the reasons you had 7 weeks ago. I had a small setback as I wrote at the start of this thread. My plans of control and moderation went out of the window and I am again assessing what my goals are and how to achieve them.
Haven't logged in or posted for several weeks, I hope everyone is managing well. My main goal was to not spend as much of my disposable income on alcohol and I am doing pretty decent with that. I now spend less than half of what I was spending when I joined so I am moderating much better now. That said I still feel I drink too much and I am not wanting to totally abstain. I do abstain when my budget is gone, I am only allowing myself a certain amount to spend and I am trying to make my allotment last longer and longer. I am making progress but it is slow. When I have drinks I want drinks ..lol.
Hors
Keep reminding yourself of why you are doing this. You are stronger than you think and you have people around you who love you. Draw from that and remind yourself of the reasons you want to abstain. Remember your journey is like a marathon through the country side, The terrain will be easy at times and sometimes it will be nasty. A slip, trip or fall just means you have to get up, brush yourself off and carry on. When you manage to navigate that difficult terrain without any slip or falls then feel extra proud of yourself cause - You Did It !
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