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Posts created by Fag Ash Lil

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

I am new here.

Hullo to you,

I am new to this site but I have been using it as a bit of life line to stop me reaching for the smokes. I have never went this long without a cigarette in 27 years but to be honest ... it's awful. If I had thought that I would feel this bloody lousy then maybe I wouldn't have bothered ... my body feels under siege, my mind is consumed with thoughts of smoking and I am more than a little angry and depressed ... and trust me when I tell you that I did not need any help with either of those. I have shouted (okay! screamed) at the kids, shouted at the radio?? developed road rage, beat a few house hold objects to death and it feels like I have lost all the joy in my life. When does this get better? and I don't mean tolerable ... I mean BETTER. If anyone is out there who is willing to tell me the truth (I don't do softly, softly) please give me the gory details of what awaits me and remind of why the hell this suffering is going to be worth it. Today I am VERY desperate.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 45
Amount Saved: �13.28
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 7 Mins: 54 Seconds: 20

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

I am new here.

Karren and Co.

Thank you for your advice. It is good to hear from others who are/have been in the same position - cos I am so fed up with my non smoker people telling me 'you can do it' ... 'it's not that hard ... just don't smoke' These folks obviously like to live life on the edge ... it is NOT a good idea to over simplify the issue to a pre-menstrual Scots woman who is three days into trying to give up smoking!!! But cheers to you ... I enjoyed reading your posts, it is nice to know that I am not really alone (even if it does feel like that) and if nothing else ... you stopped me from smoking tonight ... and tomorrow is another day ... Oh Super!! Cant wait for that then ... another 24 hours of mental and physical tug o' war with the army of cakes, sweeties and crisps stomping toward me laden with their weapons of comfort and calories ... brilliant ... soon I am not just gonna be depressed and angry ... I am gonna be a very large pre-menstrually depressed Scots woman who's overwhelming anger has been fuelled by her constant sugar rush!!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 45
Amount Saved: �13.28
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 8 Mins: 19 Seconds: 29

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

I am new here.

Karren and Rock (luvin your name!!)

Thanks once again, I have to say I am surprised by how much these wee posts help. I have been on my own today - no one to keep a wee eye on me, I could have chain smoked my way through the whole day - but I haven't even had one cigarette!! Although I have seriously thought about it and been seriously tempted ... but alas I have resisted (so far). Does anyone out there miss cigarettes? What about those who are quite some way into their quit ... do you still feel tempted? Right now, I feel as if I am teetering on the edge of failure ... does this ever stop?

What about this whole eating issue ... this is not good. Any suggestions? ... short of having my jaws wired together!!

I like the idea of dog walking ... I would love to have a dog but with us working and being out of the most days that wouldn't be much of a life for a wee dog.

P.S Karren - I watched the video you suggested - it was a little distressing but I know only too well the horrors of smoking. I watched my own Mother die from lung cancer 16 years ago, her death was quickly followed by both of my pregnancies ... and still I did not stop (Yes, I am suitably ashamed of myself) Her death was slow and torturous (she was 50 years old) and I miss her every single day. I dont want my children to watch me die and I dont want them to feel the huge void that losing your Mother creates. I am 39 years old and I feel like an orphan!! This addiction is fighting hard and I am struggling to hold on.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 4
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 60
Amount Saved: �17.70
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 9 Mins: 18 Seconds: 11

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

I am new here.

Good Grief you people ... is this part of the master plan? Keep her so busy reading and typing that she wont have time to smoke, fortunately my compulsion toward good manners appears to be stronger that my compulsion for nicotine ... so here I am typing and not smoking! ... Notes back to all you very nice people out there ...

Karren - please dont apologise, there really is no need. I was glad to have watched the video, it was a stark reminder and perhaps it was just the kick in the arse that I needed today. It did make me cry though and that is soooo not good - Lets's get one thing clear ... I am a 'big' tough assed Scots woman with a reputation for ball bustin' ... I am not supposed to cry! and obviously not being one given to too much sentiment, I will just say 'thankyou ... your posts have been more support than I would ever admit' ... and please, no apologies ... nuff said x

Lolly - now that's what I like to hear ... another Scots woman (like music to my ears) I am from Edinburgh but I have lived in Belfast, Northern Ireland for the last 12 years ... got a bit fed up with the weather and the scenery in Scotland, so I thought I'd try somewhere a little more peaceful and exotic!! ... Thank you for your support I do appreciate it very much. You mentioned some 'mad things' you have done to avoid taking another cigarette ... I am a good listener should you ever feel in a confessional mood!!

Moss - Thank you for reassuring me that I am 'normal', although I can guarantee you that there are many of my family and friends who may press you for a second opinion! - Thanks for sending me your wee note - you helped me get throught the day.

Mr Quitter - Hi there ... I hope you have sorted things out with your friend - I must say that it was good of you to send a wee note to me when you had all your own s**t going on ... and you didn't smoke ... so that makes you kind AND brave ... and they sound like some excellent ingredients for a damn good friend ...

Thank you.

Kyllisa - 207 days ... that feels like forever - and here I am whinging and moaning like a pathetic wee girl after only four days - I bet you wish they had the option of issuing a 'cyber slap'. I wish I had a tardis or something or perhaps just a touch of temporary amnesia ... anything that will just get me through the next few days/weeks/months (sorry ... off I go again ... moaning!) Thanks for you post - I know life is hard without a Mum (whatever age you are) and I know that if my Mum was around she would be telling me to get a bloody grip and not to let it grind me down (she was a scary lady sometimes!) but sure maybe one day I can post with 207 days under my belt ... 4 down ... 203 to go ...

Cybrduke - well, what can I say ... except ... Mr Dark Lord you are a funny guy, you made me laugh and let me tell you, thats no easy task these days! I would tell you that you sound like you live on another planet ... but I am sure that would only serve to feed your alter ego. I really loved your suggestions about NOT being to hard on myself with regard to the whole eating cakes issue ... who am I to argue with the Dark Lord? so ... I had two cakes tonight, therefore rest assured that your advice has been taken on board with gusto. Also, I took your advice about the gum ... and I bought some today at the chemist. The chemist man was a little hesitant about supplying the gum as I am already using the patches - however once he had registered the look on my face and listened closely when I informed him that it really was a health and safety issue - he handed them over without a struggle ... MEN! I thanked him for his co operation and informed him that he could go home knowing that today he saved a life ... not mine ... but his. As I said ... pre-menstrual - Scottish - stopping smoking and charged with a sugar rush ... lethal. On the plus side, the gum seemed to help quite a bit and I still haven't smoked. Thankyou ... you gave me sound advice and you made me laugh ... are you sure you're a man???

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 4
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 60
Amount Saved: �17.70
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 10 Mins: 19 Seconds: 42

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

THANK YOU

Hello to Everyone who got back to me

I just wanted to say THANK YOU. Please bear with me because I am not so good at this: - Firstly - I loathe having to ask for help (ever) and secondly I feel ever so humbled that you came to my rescue - you people out there are so nice and yet you don't know me from Adam. I really must apologise - I dont usually moan quite so much (cos I is a tough bird!) but this is a hard old slog and sometimes it gets a wee bit lonely... then you begin to question why the hell you are putting yourself through it ... and then there you all are ... having faith in me ... supporting me and cheering me on ... and now I am a bit lost for words (told you I was rubbish at this!) ... what are you all doing to me?? ... I am turning into a NICE person (I wonder if you can get a patch for that?) ... Thank you so very much for taking the time out of your day to care about me ... it worked ... and thanks to you ... I didn't give in and I didn't smoke.

P.S Out at the health food store today bulk buying every sugar free sweetie know to man and the wee woman in the store recommended a herbal something or another ... it is called KUDZU ... just wondered if all you hardened non smokers had ever heard of it??

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 10
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 150
Amount Saved: �44.25
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 23 Mins: 11 Seconds: 31

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

Some Good News....Thought I'd share

Hey Mr Q

Wow ... your a nice guy, here you have been worried about your own health and yet you still took the time to post to others ( i.e .. ME) I am sorry you were not so good a while back ... but on the plus side you have sliced 11 years of the damage process already ... I am presuming this too will improve with time?

Is this the happy quitters site?? ... I bloody well hope not or I'll be having my membership revoked sharpish. Hey ... we all have bad times, hard times and down times ... and you seem more than prepared to listen to and give support to others ... why can't we do the same for you?

We are not a support group for the happy, skipping, aint life a breeze brigade ... we are smokers who are trying to quit and stay quit ... and occasionally morbid comes with the territory ... that's just life.

Keep up the amazing work ... your gettin' younger by the day!!

Lil x

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 10
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 150
Amount Saved: �44.25
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 23 Mins: 18 Seconds: 12

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

one day!

Well done you ... you went one whole day without a smoke ... but I bet it feels like a month!!!! and it you are anything like me, you've been eating as if it were a month!! I see you joined some time ago ... is this your first or new attempt to kick the habit? Stick in there, you've gained three hours of life already ... just think, that's enough time to cook (and eat) a fabulous meal with a really delicious dessert for afters and soon you will have gained enough time to throw in a great movie (obviously with popcorn!) Okay .. now you probably think that I am a little deranged ... but watching the hours I am gaining back in life is helping me get through this ... I think I should have gained one whole day back. So for me ... 10/11 days of no smoking = 1 day of life gained .... seems a little unequal right? ... but then we are 'stealing' time back from the 'nicodemon' ... and we just know he doesn't fight fair! ... keep up the great work ... it is tough ... but I bet you are tougher!

Lil x

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 11
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 165
Amount Saved: �48.68
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 0 Mins: 20 Seconds: 33

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

Miss Marple gets through Hell Week!

Good for you Missus!! ... I just knew you were a tough ass

Luv Lil x

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 11
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 165
Amount Saved: �48.68
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 0 Mins: 21 Seconds: 38

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

Hell week over for Kristilu!

Hey that's fab! ... now apparently you are through the worst!! ... personally, so far it all seems pretty crappy to me but here I am still doing it (but not diggin' it!) and it's all thanks to the support of people like you!! ... deep breaths ... 'ding ding' ... round two

Keep up the great work Missus

Lil x

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 11
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 165
Amount Saved: �48.68
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 0 Mins: 22 Seconds: 17

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

THANK YOU

Hi there Miss Marple,

After reading Mr CT's information, I looked into this KUDZU stuff - it is available in health food stores - I think in both tablet and tincture form, however, most of the info was in relation to alcohol addiction/binge drinking ... and this does not apply to me ... I do drink ... but it is the cigarettes that I am addicted to ... not the alcohol. There seems to be some conflicting research regarding the actual value of the tablets (as in ... is there enough actual kudzu in them for them to be considered beneficial ... quantities appear to vary depending upon manufacturer, although it seems that the U.S.A has the best!!) The tincture appears to be considered as being more useful ... however ... one snag ... the tincture is alcohol based .... Hmm!

Anyway, it does appear that this little herbal marvel is used widely by those with alcohol dependency ... does it work ... who knows? It is claimed that it also has other beneficial properties for migraine and for menopausal symptoms ... the former applies to me ... the latter can wait a while yet !!

Can you believe that I only went into the shop for cinnamon sticks ... now I am starting to wonder what kind of vibe I am generating .... do I look like someone with multiple addictions??? more scarily ... did I behave like someone with multiple addictions? (probably!) or maybe she noted my gritted teeth, my erratic behaviour, clenched fists and wild eyes ... and thought ... oh yeah! it's gotta be the menopause!!!

Lil xx

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 10/19/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 11
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 165
Amount Saved: �48.68
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 1 Mins: 25 Seconds: 46

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