Oh and one of my biggest triggers is guilt, and I felt so guilty about my behaviour towards my dad. I called him later to apologise and he was completely understanding. He knew what was wrong before I did and wanted to get out of there in case I tried to start a row with him and then the two of us would be back smoking! I was happy that it all worked out ok!
Nite
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 27
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 621
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �231.32
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
I love this site! I think I'm going mad and then it turns out, we all are! I love it! I feel as though I'm back in hell week!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 644
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �239.89
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
Hey, I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this. I've been finding myself hesitating when it comes to doing something nice for myself. Last night I ran a nice bath and had bubbles but I couldn't relax enough to actually get in. I had an hour long argument in my head about whether or not to book a massage for myself. Money is quite low, and the weather is crap and I've been stuck indoors. Just a voice keeps saying, you don't deserve it or you haven't earned it. At the beginning of the quit I was very generous to myself and probably spent more than I should have but now, its changed and I feel guilty. I've been finding the last few days tough as well so perhaps thats why I feel like this.
I bought myself a herbal calming spray that you spray onto your tongue. Felt crap afterwards at the fact that I need it in the first place! Hell month is nearly over! Bring on hell year! I've been such a crabby devil the last four weeks that it suits me!
Paula
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 644
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �239.89
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25
Thanks everyone for the great advice! It's strange though, to have to coax yourself into believing you deserve something nice! I'd spend a fortune or take ages making a great gift for someone else. Its hard to put the focus on yourself but it shouldn't be and hopefully that'll be another benefit of quitting, to put myself first sometimes!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 644
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �239.89
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19
Hey guys, haven't posted much in a while. Been feeling a bit blue, haven't been sleeping well, been having neck spasms and sharp pains running from my ring finger to my neck and I started a new job today. Jobs good but I can't lift my spirits and cigs keep popping into my head. No onw smokes in this new job but on a tour of the office building I made note of the cigarette machine, I don't know how I even saw it because its kinda hidden. It just seemed to have neon lights on it for me. I don't want to smoke but the little voice keeps saying it'll make me happy. I don't intend to listen to it, just wish it would leave me alone. Deep breaths and lots of water.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 33
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 759
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �280.83
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3
I feel rotten. I have cravings stronger than hell week and I am so tempted. Finished up for the week in my new job, should be on top of the world that everything is going well but I'm not. Its as though I feel that I can't enjoy it without a cig. I'm denying myself. Oh my God, I'm going to lose it. I am so so so so so so so so so stressed and so angry. When I'm taking a deep breath its just reminding me of the deep inhale I used to take of a cig and then I'd feel better and the little voice is saying that it will make me feel better. I'm so miserable, please help
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 805
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �297.85
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 26 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0
Wow guys, a lot of support there! Thanks a million! I curled up into a ball and I cried my eyes out for about an hour. Feel better now! I just get suprised now when I get strong cravings because they're so few, it kind of throws me off into a panic. I'm going to head to bed now and try and get a good nights sleep, I haven't been sleeping well the last few days. I'll check in with you tommorrow! Thanks a million!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 805
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �297.85
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7
Hey guys, I don't know whats wrong with me. I slipped up yesterday and had a drag when friends were down. I'd been so irritable and cranky for the past week that some family members told me that they didn't like the smoke free me. Now, I don't know what to do. I have my shoes on with the intention of going out and buying a pack, but I have an argument going in my head. Part of me says take the shoes off, have something nice to eat and take it easy, another part is saying, buy the cigs and smoke all of the them quickly so that it makes you sick. I know they didn't mean it when they said that they didn't like the smoke free me but its quite strong when its linked with junkie thoughts.
I have been miserable for the last while, with an empty feeling in my chest and strong craves. I have been very very short tempered, cranky, sarcastic and a bit harsh with my words. I'm an absolute ***** to be honest, the longer I'm off cigs, the worse I seem to get and it scares me, is this who I really am? Cos I don't like me this way. I'm not committed to this quit at the moment because I can't see not smoking outweighing the negatives at the moment. I know that sounds ridiculous in the long run and that its wrong but I'm just feeling that I'd rather be a happy smoker than a miserable non smoker thats driven everyone away! Finacially things are tight at the moment so any money I've put aside for rewards is going on everyday things like groceries. I really don't know what to do, I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment and I could easily go either way
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 39
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 897
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �331.89
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
Thanks guys, the shoes came off and I watched a film and had some chocolate. I still feel odd, have cravings but I don't really want to go back to smoking. I know it'll make me feel better for about 5 mins and then I'll eventually have to start this whole process again and although people said they preferred me as a smoker, they'll be upset. Its just hard to believe how long this jouney is. The physical withdrawal was fine but God forbid you get into bad spirits, its like a war in your head. I just hate the empty feeling in my chest and it feels like my throat is tightening, aarrrghhh
I'm glad to hear that other people have experienced this too and that it'll get better! Thats comforting. To turn from a happy go lucky kind of gal to a miserable pain in the arse. And now! Why after a month? Why not at the beginning? I know its not physical withdrawal now, its all pychological. I just don't know who I am now, I don't like this me, but is it me? Has nicotine withdrawal given me an identity crisis? Poxy little sin sticks.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 39
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 897
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �331.89
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28
Hey hun, sorry to hear you're having a rough time lately. Well done, I can't get over how strong you've become over the last few weeks. Its really hard for us to look at ourselves and see all the wonderful things that other people see. Thats my wish for you today, that you can see how wonderful you are in the eyes of others.
Keep up the good work!
Paula
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 40
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 920
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �340.40
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58
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