I wrote some of this in my introduction post, but I'll write it again to give a background.

 

I've had GAD/panic/OCD since I was a kid.  I started taking SSRI's 12 years ago.  I was on Celexa for about 10 years.  The drugs made it so I could function and while I still had anxiety issues, they were manageable.  I also took Klonopin as needed for panic.  After a while, the Celexa didn't work as well and I didn't like the side effects.  It made me feel emotionally flat and numb sometimes, gave me the carb cravings and had sexual side effects.  So I weaned myself off of it with the help of my psychiatrist.  Things were going well.  The anxiety increased, but it was still manageable.  I wanted to try natural solutions, so I tried St. John's Wort.  I found this actually made the anxiety a lot worse.  Then, a whole mess of very stressful things happened in my life, starting a month and a half ago (might have had to move across the country, got engaged, applied to grad school, work stuff).  The anxiety came back in full force, and worse.  I started having very severe anxiety and panic, eventually landing me in the ER (which I never had to do before).  So my doctor started me on Lexapro, first 10mg, then 20mg.  It seemed like it was working, I was starting to crawl up out of the pit.  But now I'm right back down in it again.  As I noted in another post, my vitamin D levels were low, so I started taking 4000IU of a kind that contained cod liver oil. I since found out those are not good to take because you can get dangerous amounts of vitamin A and your body can be more sensitive to it.  It seemed like a couple days after I took it was when my anxiety/panic started getting worse again.  I stopped a couple days ago, but I'm still feeling miserable.  I wake up with immediate anxiety, leading to panic.  If it is the vitamin D, I've read so many different numbers about what the half life of it is, from 12 hours to 1-2 months, so if the vitamin D I was taking is causing thing, I don't know how long it will take to clear my system.  I took 0.25mg Klonopin this morning, and I'm feeling like I'll probably have to take another 0.25mg.  I hate taking that stuff, as I don't want to get addicted to it.  I just can't make this anxiety/panic stop.  It is giving me nasty depersonalization symptoms too, which makes it much worse.  I've tried the CBT techniques I've worked on with my psychiatrist, listened to a panic CD, doesn't help.  The only thing that kind of does is distracting myself with something, but I can only do that so long.  I've been seeing an acupuncturist, but I think she probably isn't very good and it doesn't seem to be having any lasting effects.

 

Anyone have any suggestions for a struggling, anxious soul?