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15 years ago 0 2 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Time has run out for me

Hello, my name is Terri and I am 40 years old.  I have smoked since I was 15, I smoke 2 packs a day. I have set my quit date for Sept 2nd.  Here is a bit of history....... 3 years ago I began to not feel well, had severe swelling in both legs then the shortness of breath started, then my muscles and joints began to swell and hurt something.  My skin began to harden.  I have severe fatigue, can no longer work due to swelling, pain and fatigue.  Have been sent to specialist after specialist and was finally in Feb diagnosed with two auto immune diseases.  Scleroderma and Anti-Synthetases Syndrome, both of which are very rare and incurable and terminal in my case as the Scleroderma as effected my kidneys and lungs along with my skin, joints and muscles.   I have to take 13 different medications one of which is a chemo drug in a shot form, but got a phone call Friday that there is a doctor in Chicago, IL that does stem cell transplants and has had great luck with slowing or even stopping this disease from getting worse, and I am scheduled for a evaluation Sept 23rd and 24th.  But his nurse advised me that I must stop smoking cause the doctor will NOT do this if the patient is smoking.  So that was just the push over the edge I needed to actually set a quit date!!  Sept. 2nd will be my day.  I know that I will need all the support I can get.  I have my children and my husband but they are always nagging at me to stop anyway and that just makes me angry.  I know that they only want me to stop for my health and I love them for it, but nagging at me or getting angry at me is not the way to encourage me.  So I decided to check online to see what kind of help and support in the internet there is and I came across this site and spent most of the day reading and decided that this program can help me through this.  I am thinking of letting my quit day come in peace and quiet, not telling anyone.  Maybe this is not the right way to do this, I am not sure I just know that if I have people looking at the calendar every day and making comments it will frustrate me.  But I have to stop, and I truly want to stop now.  Just will need some support and encouragement.
 
Sorry this has become a such a long post but I am known for being long winded even in type. LOL
 
Thank you
Terri
Erie, PA
15 years ago 0 2 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Time has run out for me

Wow, I am amazed and so grateful to have found this site.  I honestly believe with the support and advice from everyone here I can actually do this!  It is such a comfort knowing that there are so many other people that have been through this and made it.  I know how close people on forums can become, I belong to a medical forum for the disease I have and if it was not for the people there I wouldn't be fighting this disease the way I am, I would have just folded and given in to it.
 
I ended up telling my husband, who smokes, that I had set my quit date for Sept 2nd.  But I did tell him please not to nag, or hassle me, and that I didn't want to tell the kids.  They are the worst at nagging LOL. 
 
I have my motivation and my will to take back my life and kick this addiction.  I have to if I want a chance to extend my life even if only for a couple more years.  To be able to have some sort of normal life back and maybe even go into remission from this disease and go back to work.  How wonderful that would be.
 
Thank you again everyone.  I look forward to getting to know you all better, and maybe even down the road be able to help someone else conquer this addiction.
 
Terri